Wednesday, January 7, 2015


Nothing like getting a call at 8:30am from your daughter saying she thinks she broke her hand and has to go to the ER. Just got home a little while ago from watching Vivi while Dear Daughter went to the ER. Laura is home and is fine, except for the cast she has to wear for six weeks.

She was walking back from taking Lucy to school and stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk, which are pretty bad in her neighborhood from all the old trees that grow around there. Had her hands in her vest pocket and couldn't break her fall. Ran forward a bit trying to recover, then slammed into the sidewalk on her right wrist and right knee. Ow. :( Poor thing and she's right handed too. Luckily she's somewhat ambidextrous (as am I) so she'll be able to compensate to an extent.

She was in so much pain they gave her major drugs while they set the bone. They were even going to put her out to do it but she said no way! HA! Just like me, I hate being drugged too.

Papa and I rushed over when she called, of course. Papa and I took one look at her hand and said, yup, it's fractured. Papa drove her to the ER, Jason came by later to pick her up.

She's home now, with little Lucy and Vivi. Lucy was adorable when she came home from school and saw Mommy's arm in a sling, said she'd help Mommy with everything. And she will, too, Lucy is such a little helper, that one! Vivi was still napping, so we won't see her reaction but she's also very caring and I know she'll lavish love on Mommy.

Just glad it wasn't worse, like the fairly deep scar I now have on my forehead from a similar accident a few months ago. I was walking down the hall with Vivi on my hip, it was dusk and the lights weren't on yet, and did the same thing; hit the toe of my sandal on a toy the kids must've left out that I didn't see and simply could not regain my balance. I stumbled forward, almost running, Vivi on my hip, trying to recover but couldn't. I could have, if I dropped Vivi, but I sure as hell wasn't going to drop the baby to brace myself. So I pitched forward holding on to Vivi with a death grip and banged my forehead on a kiddie chair. I didn't understand I'd even done it until I felt the blood run down my face. I still have a scar there, I'll have it for life. Papa calls it my Hero Nana Scar, heh. :) Says it's a "life scar" and I should be proud of it.

Better me hurt than the baby, that's for sure. Vivi was a bit shaken up from hitting the ground but perfectly fine.

Just goes to show you never know when something like that can happen. I must continue to remind myself to slooooowwww down. Rushing is good in emergencies, otherwise, I really need to take my time. I will add this to my list of things I must work on.

It's a looooong list, folks. Long.

Anyway, no meditation today, although Daws and I did fill out our Q&A book we're loving so much this morning before we got the call/text.

And I got to blog! See? *points at blog* YAY ME! Hahaha...

Tuesday, January 6, 2015


The grandkids are an endless source of delight and we're so fortunate that they live only 10 minutes away, all three of them.

Lucy, the eldest, has hit that stage where she is beginning to think she knows it all. And she's only five and a half! Yesterday I watched both her and Vivian while Daddy had an appointment and Mommy had to work. She was watching the new "Annie" movie and kept griping every time anyone walked in front of the screen. "I can't see!" she complained. When anyone talked, "I can't hear!" she'd whine. Of course, this didn't stop her from running around playing with her sister off and on, thereby crossing the screen herself. or from talking loudly whenever she felt the need, thereby preventing others from hearing the dialog.

Not that we *wanted* to, the movie appears to be woefully lacking in quality, sorry to say.

Finally in frustration, she ended up standing on the wooden entertainment system and clinging to the TV, all but mashing her face against the screen.

"Lucy, get down! That's dangerous!"

"It's my TV, I can stand here if I want!"

Oh, no you DIDN'T!

"Lucy, it's not your TV," Papa and I chorused, "It's your PARENTS' TV! You don't own anything here, it's all theirs and you just get to use it."

Lucy had the good grace to look slightly abashed.

But only slightly. After all, she's FIVE and she knows EVERYTHING and if she doesn't, she'll soon learn enough about it so she can lecture you on it.


Monday, January 5, 2015

Not off to a good start, eh?

yeah, I'm supposed to be blogging every day. Oops.

Let's see, what can I talk about? Well, I did my first official meditation this morning, five minutes. I'm a beginner, yanno. Five minutes is about all I can muster up. It was nice, I found some instructions online on how-to that didn't have an overtly spiritual focus. Just pragmatic, "this is how ya do it, so do it". I definitely felt calm and happy once I finished so I will continue.

My daughter gave us a book to write in every morning, it has a question for the day and we do it for three years and compare our answers. Really enjoying doing this together.

Won't be able to start the super-duper-strict diet/exercise until next week as the Hubs sister is coming to visit this week and we'll be all over the place as far as booze/food goes. Looking forward to starting fresh next week, though!

Well, thus ends the most boring blog ever.

Stay tuned for hopefully more exciting prose coming from moi.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Journaling for 2015

Recently I read that journaling is good for you, along the lines of meditating being good for you. So I'm going to try both this year.

Not sure who still reads here, if anyone, but it doesn't really matter as I'm going to be doing this mostly for me. :)

Also, I miss writing. I used to take a great deal of satisfaction in writing my various blogs over the years. I only stopped because it seems life had sped up to the point where I didn't have the time anymore. But I think I need to make the time, I think it was good for me on a level I didn't realize until I stopped.

Now, the writing part I know how to do, but the meditation part, eh...not so sure about that.

I'll keep ya'll posted on the meditation.

I had a lot more here but I took it out. I don't want to offend anyone, not in today's age especially. In our increasing need to be uber tolerant, we've become more intolerant than ever, it sometimes seems to me.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Ten Books that Affected Me

ELS by Dawson Rambo: ELS is X-Files fanfic and how I met my husband. I could not stop reading this book I found online, staying up until the wee hours of the morning and rushing home at night from work so I could read it. It was thrilling, fun, insightful and affected me deeply. When I finished, I wrote the author a gushing fan email and the rest is history. :)

The Lord of the Rings - Read this trilogy when I was 12/13 and for many months became a part of Middle Earth. I wanted to live in that world, forever, and be with Elves and Hobbits and ride the horses of Rohan and walk with the Ents and fight for good and cast out evil. While daydreaming about Middle Earth, I didn't care that we'd moved to a new town where I had no friends and no more extended family. I didn't care that I walked through the halls of my junior high unknown and alone. I had this rich, colorful world to be a part of and it was far more beautiful than anything in real life. When I finally finished the last book, allowing myself only a chapter a day to stave off the inevitable ending, I felt a great emptiness inside because it was over. Then I thought hopefully, "Maybe one day I can read it again and enjoy it as much?" So I did. Several times.

Lies My Teacher Told Me - Long before we had Wikipedia and the unbelievable amount of information available online today about the world and human history, this book opened my eyes for the first time on how much information we'd been taught in school had been carefully filtered to make sure our culture was usually shown in the best light possible. Even if that meant changing or omitting facts. A real eye opener.

Animal Farm - Orwell: I think I was only 11 or so when I first read this but even then I grasped the gist; where there is power to be gained, beware. Realize there are people who will lie, cheat, steal and even kill to gain power/wealth. Always pay more attention to what people actually do than what they say. I forever looked at the world differently after that, another step into adulthood.

Brave New World - Huxley: I think I was 15 or so when I first read this, maybe younger. Huxley's soulless world of the future, written in 1931, was scarily close to what we had become as a society when I first read it back in the 70's and also spookily close to what we have become since.

I Robot and the The Rest of the Robots - Asimov: Started reading Asimov around ...9? Yes. Robots. And more Robots. I am still obsessed with Robots and All Things Tech. Especially the interaction part. Yup.

Mandingo - Onstott: I was only 15 or 16 when I read this book and the no-holds-barred sex and violence blew my young mind. Yes, I'd learned about slavery in school, as did we all. But that education had been white-washed (no pun intended); this book laid it all out in all its ugliness and I was shocked, titillated and outraged, all at once.

Johnny Got His Gun - This is exactly why war sucks.

The Shining - I was pregnant with Laura and already home on maternity leave with nothing to do but wait. This book helped me pass the last few molasses-slow weeks. Almira, our cat, who was also pregnant, insisted on laying on my large stomach with her smaller but equally distended stomach while I raced through this book as fast as I could. It was creepy, well-written, and stayed in my head for days until both Almira and I gave birth and my life changed direction forever. It was a while before books became important again.

Stranger In A Strange Land - Heinlein: Back in the '70's when I read this, it was different from anything else I'd read before; a blend of sci-fi futuristic brilliance combined with contemporary language, all the while flipping around social structures in a way that was quite new and exciting. I wanted to live in this world in reality and, for a while,...I sorta did.

Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell: C'mon, it's a great read, although not PC at all. But, oh, so, so very romantic.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014


I did my first 5k last Sunday. I don't know what got into me. I mean, I've never run in any kind of race before. But I figured if I entered an actual race and put up my hard-earned money to do it (I know, crazy, right? Who pays for torture like that?) I'd have to force myself up out of bed every morning to avoid coming in dead last and making a fool of myself.

So back in May, I started walking/running as many times a week as I could, anywhere from 2 to 5 miles a pop, being slow and careful due to my bad knees.

Here are some newbie thoughts on running a 5k race:

*I was blown away by how many people passed me in the very beginning, like, I was so panicked by the sheer number of people passing me at the start, I started running myself much faster than I had planned or was really very safe; finally looked behind me dreading what I'd see, certain with a sick feeling in my stomach that *everyone* had passed me by and I was now the very last person in the whole 5k. Of course, there were tons of people behind me, masses of them, haha! I felt a bit better after that

*I gradually became annoyed by the people I ended up being grouped with; nothing wrong with them or anything like that, they are nice people, I'm sure, it's just that I'd pass them, then I'd have to slow down to catch my breath and then they'd pass me! Of all the nerve! Repeat, repeat, repeat. It never stopped! One girl ahead of me in a yellow shirt about my size and weight that I made a goal to catch up with, well, I NEVER DID CATCH UP WITH HER! Infuriating! haha!

*This all made my fastest time ever! I was so determined to pass people in front of me and busy staving off the ones behind me that I ended up finishing in the middle of my age group and took 7 whole minutes off my previous best time.

*I misjudged where the finish line was and did a sprint (passing those infuriating people ahead of me for the LAST TIME! Take THAT, you anonymous people), thinking I had enough time before the last stretch so I could catch my breath and finish strong at the end but GAH! No! Turned the corner right after my sprint and there was the finish line right there, just a few hundred yards away! It was all I could do to force myself into a breathless slow crawl jog so at least I wasn't walking across the finish line. I was dying!

*I was startled to hear my name announced over the loudspeaker as I approached the finish line, followed by my family cheering and going nuts, then the announcer following up with, "And Annie Rambo's whole family is here, too!". This was embarrassing but it touching as well. I mean, I've never even watched a marathon or 5k race before so everything was completely new to me.

*I didn't realize they put the medal around your neck when you finish and say, "congrats", that caught me by surprise. I had assumed they would point us somewhere where they'd hand us our medal from a box. But no, I got a medal put around my neck like a legitimate real runner-type person and everything!

*I needed water like crazy but I was kinda in a daze and I couldn't see where the water was, so someone directed me to the water table. Best water of my life!

*My husband Daws had tears in his eyes when he hugged me, and my daughter was like, "Why is he crying?", bewildered, but I knew it was because only he knew that I had decided not to do the race just a few weeks ago; because of my knees, because of my weight, plus I just felt so discouraged and didn't want to embarrass myself. In fact, I called the marathon people to see if I could transfer my ticket to someone else but they said, no, you can't. But Daws encouraged me and said I could do it, don't give up, he said. Do it even if you walk the whole thing, do it just for you. So he knew that I had to overcome quite a bit, for me, just to do it at all.

Plus I wasn't about to waste $40 and not go.

So I did do it. And I can't wait to do it again! :)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

She's Comin' Home This Christmas Day

I was listening to Trans-Siberian Orchestra in my Christmas mix the other day and for the first time caught the lyrics to "She's Comin' Home This Christmas Day".

Now, I know the song was written about a man who has lost his woman. He messed up Big Time in some way and she left his sorry ass. But somehow he's been forgiven and she's coming back to him at last. And on Christmas Day.

So he's getting out the tree and decking those halls and celebrating with great joy.

But as I listened, I thought about my Mom. And my Nana. And how wonderfully awesome it would be if they could come home for Christmas.

My mom would not have cared for Trans-Siberian Orchestra, by the way. I remember when we used to play hard rock or even soft rock music for her and at the end ask, "Did you like that, Mom?", and she'd always answer very carefully, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, "Well..."(slight pause) "it had a good beat!"

That was my mom. Always wanted to be positive. Even if she didn't like something, she didn't want to come right out and say so. Too polite for that.

One of my favorite memories of Mom and newer music was once in the car when I was driving us to go shopping. Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing" came on the radio:

And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me

"What on earth is that man singing?" Shock in her voice.

I glanced over at Mom; her expression was a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

"He's singing, 'sexual healing', Mom. It's the name of the song."

She grew more confused.

"They can say that on the radio?" Stunned.

Suppressing a laugh, I said, "Well, yeah, mom, they can say the word 'sexual' on the radio.. And it's a positive song, really, I think if you listened closely to it, you'd rather like it."

Marvin sang, Come take control, just grab a hold
Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it
Honey, oh we're feeling fine
You're my medicine open up and let me in

Mom breathed something like, "well...I never!"

Mom never really grew past the 40's when it came to music. Frank Sinatra was a little too wild for mom sometimes.

I think Trans-Siberian Orchestra would just blown her mind. Hard rock Christmas music. She wouldn't have understood it at all. She probably would have plastered a big fake grin on her face while she waited painfully for it to be over.

Nana was deaf in one ear from a childhood accident (don't ever stick bobby-pins in your ear, kids) and so was mercifully immune to music she didn't care for. She smiled all the time, no matter what music was playing; she was just damn happy to be with the family and having her Once A Year Beer in her hand.

Mom and Nana, unlike the rest of the family, were practically teetotalers. Sometimes at a family gathering they'd have one beer. And there was always a big discussion about it.

Nana to my mom: "Are you having a beer?"

Mom: "I was thinking about it...what do you think?"

Nana: "Well...maybe. Are you?"

Mom: "Well, now...I'm not sure. What do you think?"

Nana, giggling: "Maybe we could have just one...what do you think?"

Mom: "Well, now...just one couldn't hurt, could it?"

Nana: "I don't know, what do you th-"

At this point, either one of my brothers or I would hand them two beers.

"Here, have one. They're nice and cold." They'd always respond like giddy schoolgirls, like they were doing something naughty as they sipped delicately at their bottle.

One year, with complete and utter abandon, they had two beers. It was as if the world had come to an end.

"Shall we have another?" "I don't know, are you?" "Oh MY! Should we?" "I don't know! Do you think we should?"

So we got them two more beers and they were so shocked, they were speechless at the sinfulness of it: TWO BEERS!

My Nana finally stammered out, "Mercy!"

That was her word, "mercy", for whenever something was so mind-boggling, she couldn't wrap her head around it.

They were awfully cute.

And I miss them. I miss them most at Christmas time.

I wish you were here, Mom and Nana. I wish you could see how your family has grown. I wish you could see the new little ones, how you'd love them, how much you both loved babies. How you'd hold baby Sara and bring out her gorgeous smiles and coos. How you'd love seeing Lucy dancing about on her sturdy little legs, laughing.

How I miss you both.

Merry Christmas, wherever you are.

I wish I could say, "She's Comin' Home this Christmas Day".